How Solo Expenses helps Ollie watch the Euro 2016 soccer tournament
Wily Ollie Banks invents a way to use expense manager app Solo Expenses to get his wife’s permission to watch European championship football, but almost spoils it at the last minute…
“HOW much beer?” Lizzie Banks wanted to know as husband Ollie brought in the fourth and fifth 12-packs. “There must be at least 50 bottles there. Who’s going to drink all that? Surely not you?”, she wanted to know.
Ollie’s momentary silence was answer enough. “It is you, isn’t it? You’re intending to drink all of that yourself, aren’t you…? Your liver won’t thank you for it. ”
Ollie had ducked out of the kitchen again, and was soon coming back from the car with packets of moules mariniere, cheese, and continental sausages in shapeless carriers, which he heaped alongside the beer on the kitchen worktop. Still he hadn’t spoken, but looked at her with a twinkle in his eye.
Grandad Ron, busy helping his granddaughter Alice with her colouring, looked up. “He’ll be wearing a beret next,” he said with a wink.
Suddenly the penny dropped for Lizzie. “Soccer,” she said. “The European Football Championships. In France.”
“Got it in one,” said Ollie. “A feast of football; 51 games in 10 cities in France, televised, and I intend to watch them all. And when you put it like that, this isn’t a lot of beer. Barely more than one for each game, spread over a month, and they’re only little bottles. Look. It’s French.”
Doing it for the children
Lizzie’s shoulders drooped. Over the years she’d known Ollie she’d learned that when he set his mind to doing something, he would see it through. In one respect she admired him for that streak of determination, but her admiration sometimes became stretched. His next comment snapped the slender thread completely.
“I’m only doing it for the children,” he announced. She looked from the beer to Ollie, then at the pile of cheese and sausage, before looking back at him again. “How can all this, and a soccer tournament, be for the children?”, she wanted to know.
“For every goal I watch, I’m going to set a pound aside for each of them. I’m going to pretend that every goal is a business expense, and I’m going to record it with Solo Expenses. That’ll mean I hardly have to take my eyes off the screen to make a note of the goal, and after the final, Solo Expenses will tot it all up, and I’ll know how much to put into their bank accounts!”
Saying nothing, Grandad Ron nodded slowly. It was a good plan, and he was proud of his son for coming up with it.
Lizzie wasn’t so generous of spirit. “Solo Expenses is for recording our spending, at home and at work. It’s not designed for something like that.” Ollie conceded that it hadn’t been, but pressed on regardless. “That’s the beauty of it. Solo Expenses is so simple to use, and flexible, that it can be made to do anything that can conceivably be called expense management. It just needs a bit of imagination. It’ll work; you’ll see. It just needs me to be diligent in recording the goals. I’ll just say, each one a business expense of £1, and make a new category to put them in. What could be simper? It’s spinning money management another way, and it’ll be far easier than looking it all up on the internet afterwards, and adding the goals up that way.”
Ollie almost blows it
Alice now piped up. “I don’t like football,” she announced. Ollie reassured her, saying that she didn’t have to watch, but could do things with her mum and Grandma Lorna instead. “But Jack might like to watch, so I’ve bought him an England shirt.” With a flourish and a rattle of a plastic carrier bag he revealed a baby-grow in England colours.
“Aww, you were doing well until that point son, but you could have blown it now,” thought Grandad Ron.
“Not a chance, Banks,” said Lizzie. “Not a chance. There’s no way he’s wearing that. You’d better have kept the receipt. I’ll take it back and exchange it for some part-baked baguettes; you can keep the French theme going with some of those. Can you eat 50?”
Picture Lim Seng Kui via Dreamstime